I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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