he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
why is half of my head shaved?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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