yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
