I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
