I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize