The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
