well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
NoShamevember. You game?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
