can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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