Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
