with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
