he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
