carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Vodka?
Forever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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