This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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