Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
