He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize