I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
