I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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