Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
