You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I need help removing her.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
