Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
