Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i came on her dog
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
