your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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