do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
