Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize