I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
