there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize