Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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