i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
