i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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