Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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