Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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