It's Friday. Sex?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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