found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
