no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
