Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
