your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
