Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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