She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
