So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
someone owes me an orgasm
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
