Whod you bang
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize