Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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