So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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