New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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