I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
