That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
