my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
