The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
