I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
