Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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