wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize