I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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