you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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