so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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