Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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