So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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