I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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