That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
