That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
