p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
