Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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