i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
