if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
