he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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