id be glad to
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
