I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
