I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
