Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
