Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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