Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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