East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
