I want to stick my p in your. b.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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