it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
