i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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