I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
