This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
