girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Operation Purity has been aborted
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
