Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you didnt know i had herpes?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
