I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
They have beer where we have blood.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
